I’m 36 today. That’s weird. It’s weird, because 40 is only 4 years away, and I don’t feel remotely old enough to be 40. I’m not saying that 40’s old – I’m saying that it sure decided to speed it’s way over here, and I still feel like a college student half the time! Slow down, 40! No rush. Damn! 🙂
But 36 feels good. I have so much for which I’m grateful, and my life has really taken off in surprising ways in the past couple of years, making me, at 36, about a BILLION times cooler than I was when I was 26.
Things That I Have Now That I Didn’t Have 10 Years Ago:
- a girlfriend
- an apartment in Los Angeles
- a full-time staff writing job for an awesome outlet
- a savings account (with actual money in it!)
- all the friends I’ve made in L.A.
- my youngest niece
- my girlfriend’s family, that feels like family to me
- a podcast I host regularly
- a body of work in the form of screenplays
- plans and schemes beyond writing
- the directing bug
- an appreciation for my own body
- a more laid-back attitiude about things
- an assurance in who I am and the things I believe in
Now, life isn’t a bed of roses, and there are things that I don’t have, or that are still problems for me even at 36. So…
Things That I Don’t Have or Are Still a Problem at 36:
- still fat, and at this point I think I’m bigger than I’ve ever been
- still have debt
- don’t have my parents
- don’t have a car
- don’t have a driver’s license (though I have an appt in Aug that’ll take care of that!)
- don’t have kids
- don’t have my immediate family, or my oldest friends within walking/driving distance
- don’t have a novel published
- still get bored/distracted way too easily
- still a procrastinator
And then there are the new, age-related problems and issues, like lower back and hip pain (due to the weight, most likely), annoyance with “going out” (unless it’s to a quiet pub with, like, 3-4 friends), being an Old Person who perks up whenever Old People Music comes on (ie: the soundtrack of my high school existence…from the 1990s, which ended SIXTEEN YEARS AGO), and a different vision for what my future should look like than I ever thought I’d have.
Oh yeah, and my 20 year high school reunion will be in two years.
Still, life is good overall, and I feel very lucky. I’m lucky to have the people I have in my life. I’m lucky to be the recipient of so much love from so many different sources, and I’m lucky that I have so many opportunities to love in return. I’m lucky that my Dream Career actually feels possible, and that I’ve been able to consistently plug away at a career in the arts long enough to know what failure looks like, what success looks like, and that I’m doing all the right things right now. I’m lucky that whenever life’s thrown something at me to knock me down, I’ve always managed to get back up. I’m lucky that I can not only move forward or backward, but I have the ability to pivot.
36 years on this planet has taught me a lot, and I’m grateful. Thanks to all of you for coming along for the ride.
(photos by The Headshot Truck)